From the Ground: The Real Israel-Palestine

Post-Birthright Analysis: Sexism

By Alex Finkel
For Living the Dream

Now that I’m back in the U.S. and I tell people I went to Israel over winter break, I always get the same question: “So, are you like more Jewish now?” or something like that.

I mean, that was one of the reasons I decided to go to Israel in the first place- to feel more connected to this religion I had halfheartedly observed the past 19 or so years of my life. I had always gone to temple especially for the high holidays, but it was mostly because I felt obligated to, not because I actually cared about what was said in services. So I went to Israel looking for answers and hoping to find some connection to my heritage.

What I found was something very different than what I expected.

It’s two weeks later, and now, odd as it may seem, I feel even more disconnected from my religion. And that’s primarily because of the rampant sexism I witnessed.

For one thing, going to Israel on a Birthright trip is a very different experience for men and women. And although I knew there existed some sort of sexism in Orthodox Judaism (the basis and root of the religion), I never experienced it as I had always attended Reform services.

But on the trip, it was impossible to avoid.

The first Shabbat service separated men and women. According to our tour guide Moshe, the barrier between both genders allowed each to individually focus on prayer and be free from distractions.

But what I saw (or heard really since women were not really able to contribute or participate) was a service that consisted of guys singing some prayers at the top of their lungs and dancing around in circles.

Women sat on the other side. We were supposed to be silent. We didn’t dance. And what I remember most is just about every girl’s uncomfortable expression and body position as if they were counting the minutes until it was over (I know I was).

And when it was over, all I wanted to do was scream, “Hey! Why can’t I do what you guys are doing?” I had never been told I couldn’t do something because I was a woman.

But Shabbat at the Western Wall was even worse. The wall is separated between men and women and the men’s side is twice if not three times as large as the women’s side.

But Birthright chose not to conduct the women’s service at the wall. This was because of the new “Modesty Police” who roamed the women’s side stopping women from dancing and singing. You know, because that wasn’t our place.

Instead we were escorted to the back lot of an archaeological museum and encouraged to dance and sing like the men were doing at the Wall… in this darkly lit area where few people could see us so we wouldn’t offend anyone with our actions.

Truth is, I didn’t want to dance- it just felt wrong to put on this fake smile like I actually enjoyed being oppressed. And so I didn’t. And neither did a lot of the other girls in our group. And the Birthright female group leader got angry and said to us, “This is only going to be what you make of it.”

She’s right. The experience was what I made of it. But sometimes (especially growing up in a country like America that prides itself on the importance of equality), it was just too hard to ignore.

Do I regret going? Of course not. It was certainly eye-opening and even a little bit sad, but I think its made me really appreciate that I live in a place where I really can do whatever I want even though I’m a woman.

I’ll still probably go to services on high holidays as it’s become this tradition that is one of the few constants in my life. But I’m going to stop looking for any connection I might have with my religion. Maybe there just isn’t one there.

And I think I’m okay with that.